My reaction to this gif went from stone-faced “this is dumb” to full-on snickering gleefully in about fifteen seconds.
you can’t just drop shit like this on my dash i hurt myself laughing
i told my mom that god has killed babies in the bible and she didn’t believe me so i searched it up and to my surprise
there’s a list???
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
in conclusion god is an asshole
okay well I mean ten murders is still bad though so
god gambles with your souls pass it on
Notice only 20 shades of gray
It’s been proven that women actually have an acute ability to pick up subtle differences in colors
In response to that last comment^^
Yes. It comes from the Hunter-Gatherer days.
Women were the gatherers. They had to be able to discern between the different shades of colors to know which plants were poisonous and which were not.
Men were out hunting, so they didn’t have to worry about that.
Which is why women see “Blood orange” and “crimson” and “scarlet” etc while guys just see “red”.
bury me in armor so I’ll be ready for the skeleton war
why is his fricking chest uncovered? that’s ppor planning right there
what are you gonna do?
stab a skeleton in the heart?
no, I’ll play their rib bones like xylobones and destroy the morale of the skeleton army with my sick and delightful xylobone playing
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.
Fat people and mobility/flexibility—- it exists! I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve ran past people in P.E. classes, and heard them snicker. Things about my body causing the earth to quake, or other really hateful unnecessary things. When I made the cut for soccer before the fifty other kids it was literally bewildering to most. It always has been, other than to the people who know me and see how apparent my abilities are.
That’s another thing, if I was ever right or better at something or made a joke that made more people laugh the immediate response was…
Well, you’re fat.
Why don’t you go eat something
Shut up, fatass.
At least I’m not fat.
Fatty runnin’! Lookout, coming through!
Oh gosh, the thoughtless remarks are endless, and usually along the same lines. It’s so silly that something that took absolutely no real thought to come up with can sting so badly. It’s not true, it was never true, and I knew that but that didn’t change the way it felt to be looked down upon simply for the extra fat I was carrying around—- and carrying well.
Nowadays on the soccer field when someone makes a comment about how I’m taking up more space than I should be allowed, I don’t feel that familiar ache to be something I’m not. I can just shake my head and know that this person is internalizing something that really has nothing to do with the way I look.
Isn’t it funny, too, how the same assholes will swear up and down that they are just worried about your health? Fat hate runs deep, friends. Fight it with flaming fists of fury.
it doesn’t change anything you’re still fat and that makes you unhealthy.
I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over your extreme assholery. It sounded like you were over there not knowing anything about my personal health, but pretending to. That would be pretty dumb considering you’re probably not a doctor and you’ve definitely never given me any sort of evaluation. If you think you can tell how healthy I am by just seeing that I’m fat, I’m sorry to say you’ve been grossly misinformed. Bummer city for you, jerk.
<3 <3 <3
well I think yo are extremely cute <3
I’m fat and i can put my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees, do the splits and all sorts of crazy shit. Fat and flexible, get it up ye.
And on the other hand, I’m naturally skinny and one of the most inflexible people I’ve ever seen. I can barely reach past my knees when sitting down and I’m not even in bad shape.
Flexibility has way more to do with genetics than it ever has with weight.
Reblogging again for important commentary ^^^
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone
Wonder how July is gonna be
i will keep reblogging this each month
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a hat.
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE